Find the Beat Again

so this is my third year at KSU and I often look back and wonder what I have been doing the past three years? Since changing my major and actually taking classes that relate to my major I feel that now I have something worth going for. So have I just been wasting all this time? No i don't look at it that way I see it as an opportunity to figure everything out to let go of yourself and find the beat again. Sugarlands most recent album has a song titled exactly that some of the lyrics are "why ya walking around with your heart so heavy is it weighing you down?" that is exactly how I've felt the past two years why in the world am I still in school this isn't for me and I'm not ready to face the world I would so much rather ride horses in some new town leave everything behind, take my saddle and a suitcase and leave. How awesome would that be no strings no worries and nothing to lose. but then I think what if I do that and then I suddenly realize I have nothing but this if i get hurt I cant ride. I use every part of my body to ride and thats just not what is going to work. This is where I find myself my third year in school majoring in GIS and living the life I should at this day in time live for the moment and you will find your beat again.

error error where are we

Hello blogging world I completely forgot I even had this haha but I have been wanting to start writing again. so a new semester a new year new classes new major new job new living arrangements. I love my life i really do i wouldn't trade it for anything. but I can't complain I had to move back home sad but I needed to get a part time job save up money and get my ducks in a row. I have to realize I don't live in the world because i do and money is real so you better start working for it. I ride to live and live to ride but at some point you have to realize that in order to ride you have to pay. the sport of kings my dad says so I have to support it on my own. this is completely wrong it feels to be moving back to the city i loved the country and the farm and the horses and doing whatever i wanted with whoever I wanted. it's a fine line between dealing and pushing I can't even explain how I feel. there are wins and losses but I must get a job must save money must horse show must be near the country must breathe.... right i forget to breath it s not normal anymore its hard and dense I'm working hard and then I want to play even herder but I know I shouldn't. I'm 21 and have a boyfriend and older friends why shouldn't i go out and enjoy my life after all you only get one. but thats not what this is about its about living your life and making it count not forgetting that you have to love what you do. I changed my major im gonna be a map person GIS geographic information sciences. its crazy how much i like it and want to take more its a hunger that is good for me because I'm terrible at school and don't want to deal with it at all but these GIS classes make the others bearable.It's weird to like school its a foreign idea but I enjoy it. I love my boyfriend he is so good to me and i feel like we are closer than ever and I can't believe we have been together this long its amazing and beautiful and I can't imagine my life without him he supports me with everything i do and he loves me with all his heart too he pours his heart out and gives 110% when all i can give is 80% he steps up for me and believes in everything I wanna do. What a whirlwind of adventure and craziness and i call it my life. hope you can follow this post its a little ridiculous i'll try and post daily and figure out everything